This is the sixth and final article in our series “Man and Woman – Image of the Triune God”. The first was “What is the Real Thing For Women?” The second was “Image of One – Image of Three.” The third was “Gift and Response,” the fourth was “The Oeconomic Kingdom,” and the fifth was Man – The Minister of Confirmation.

We began this series with the article, “What is ‘The Real Thing’ for Woman?” and now we have come full circle as we try to understand what a woman is in herself. Hopefully, after our prayerful pondering, we will be able to give some indication of the answer. The full answer will have to wait until we behold God face to face, for since we are created in His image, we will only understand the image that we are when we behold the Original in His fullness.

This consideration has already helped to set the framework in which we must seek the answer to our question. Each human being is created in the image of God, and we can only know and understand the image to the extent in which we know and understand the Original. Does that condemn us to never find any answer at all in this life? Certainly not. We know the image to the extent that we know the Original, and we can know God to quite a surprising extent. Human reason can come to a valid though very limited knowledge of God, and the theological virtue of faith gives a true if obscure knowledge of Him. John of the Cross writes that faith, “serves in this life as a means to divine union, as the light of glory serves in the next life as a means to the clear vision of God.”[i]

So the knowledge of God received through faith gives us the framework in which we can know ourselves. We have seen in our various articles the understanding of human beings that can be gleaned from our knowledge of God. We have seen that human beings are made in the image and likeness of God and that they are made male and female. We have seen that the angels are also made in the image of God, but they do not share in the relationality that distinguishes man and woman. The angels are not created as two distinct types. There are no male or female angels. The image of God that man and woman share is something that “the angels long to look into.” This “something” is the relationship that exists in God and that is imaged in man and woman, but that has no equivalent among the angels.

To understand what it means to be a man or a woman, we must come to some understanding of the relationship that makes God a Trinity. We can say simply that man and woman can unite to create a family just as the Father and the Son unite with one another, and the result of the union in both cases is another person: in a human family, a child is born, and in the Trinity, the Holy Spirit is breathed forth by the Father and the Son.

This understanding of being “created in the image of God” is valid, but it does not go very deeply into the question that we are considering. It is not simply the reality of three persons existing in a close relationship that images God. It is the form that that relationship takes. We have seen that the Trinity exists as a Trinity because the Father gives Himself totally and that this self-giving is the Son. The Son receives Himself totally from the Father and in accepting Himself, He confirms the Father as Father. In that self-giving, the Spirit of the Father is also given, so much so that the Spirit breathed forth by the Father is the same Spirit breathed forth by the Son. All is mutually given to the other, all is received by the other.

A similar self-giving on the part of God outside of Himself brings into existence the angels and human beings. God gives Himself to each angel and to each human being, and we receive Him in a finite way. In receiving Him, we confirm Him as Father and Creator.

This may seem to be a long and tedious introduction, but it is necessary. It is so deeply ingrained in us to think of God primarily as POWER, that it demands a careful revision of our understanding of Him to see Him as self-giving love, as mutual openness and vulnerability. Yet that is what love is: the gift of oneself and the acceptance of the other in total openness.

This is how God relates within Himself, and this is how He relates to His creatures created in His image. This self-giving love creates both angels and human beings. The angels receive Him and, in their reception, confirm Him as Father and creator and glorify Him in this sharing of His life.

We human beings do the same, yet we are called to more: we are called to live among ourselves the same relationship of self-giving love that we live with Him. “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.”[ii] These are the “things into which angels long to look!”[iii]

Vertically, God gives Himself to each of us, and, like the Son, by our acceptance we confirm Him as Father. This is the relationship that both angels and human beings are called to live for all eternity. For us humans, there is also the same relationship on the horizontal plane: we are called to give God to each other by the gift of ourself. This is what Adam could not do by himself. This is why he needed a helper, and he only found that helper in one who was the same as himself and also different from himself. That helper is woman.

The search among the creatures recounted in Genesis shows that man’s search for one to whom he could give himself demanded a helper to whom he can relate fully as a human being. This means that he needed a being so like himself that nothing in himself would remain ungiven.

At the same time, he needed a being who was different from himself, otherwise his gift of himself would be meaningless. We have defined love as “that gift of oneself that makes the other more perfectly themself.” If the other is exactly the same as myself, what can I give that they do not already have?

In recent years, there has been a strong effort to show that any differences between man and woman are purely cultural constructs. Science has shown that this position is no longer tenable. The differences are small, but they are real, and they are important. Man and woman are each fully human, yet each lives the fullness of human nature in slightly different ways. This is not quite the same as being complementary. Merriam-Webster defines “complementary” as “serving to fill out or complete,” “mutually supplying each other’s lack.” As far as being human, man and woman do not need the other to fill out or complete their humanness. There is no lack in the human nature of each that the other can supply. On the level of being, each is fully human. In this, both man and woman image God, for each Person in the Trinity is fully God.

On the level of action, it is different, and the difference exists because man and woman are created in the image of God as a relationship. Angels are not: they are created in the image of God as creator, and their relationship among themselves does not image the self-giving within the Trinity. They cannot give life to one another, neither in the sense of bringing another angel into being, nor in the sense of bringing another angel closer to God. Each angel’s relationship to God is totally his own, and it is not affected by another angel. They can help one another in their action throughout creation, supporting their activity, and sharing their wisdom, but no angel can bring another closer to God because each angel’s relationship to God is direct and without mediation.

With us, it is different. In our interaction between ourselves, we can enhance one another’s relationship with God because we are called to live between ourselves the total self-giving of the Trinity. We do not simply “image” that self-giving, we share in it, and in doing so, we enable both ourself and the other to be more united to God. This is what we are created for: to live God’s own life for all eternity, and that is why Adam needed a helper that he only found in woman.

The title of this article is “Woman – The Minister of Communion.” Man creates society by confirming each being in its God-given reality. Woman creates communion by being the personal openness and challenge that enables self-giving on the part of others. The phrase “self-giving” is very often understood in the sense of physical intimacy, but the reality of self-giving is immeasurably greater than any physical expression. Self-giving is the revelation to another of one’s personal being. Because we are body and soul, every expression of our being will include a physical component: a smile, a word written or said, a gesture. But the physical expression is not the whole of the self-revelation. A smile can be fake, a word can be a lie. Even intercourse, the most intimate expression of intimacy, can be mere use of the other, as every prostitute knows. The expression of oneself is true to the extent that what it expresses is real. I can choose to reveal myself to another as I am, or I can refuse. When I choose to reveal myself to another, to share with another my hopes, my fears, my weaknesses and strengths, then I need another who is capable of receiving that self-revelation. This is part of what it means to be a woman: to be open to and to encourage the self-revelation of another person.

The other part of what it means to be a woman is that woman’s openness to another’s self-giving is a challenge to the other. No person is a clone of anyone else. Even identical twins have slight differences. No one sees reality precisely as another perceives it. Because each person is different, to reveal oneself to another encounters the challenge of this difference. Revealing oneself to another thus becomes an exploration both of oneself and of the other as we seek to come to a true encounter of one another.

This challenge is an essential aspect of the relationship of man and woman. Both are fully human, and therefore each can understand the human experiences and aspirations, the desires and disappointments of the other in a way that no other creature can. At the same time, the slight innate differences between man and woman challenge each to that mutual exploration that enriches both beyond what either can achieve on their own.

We have based our study of man and woman on our insights into the life of the Trinity, into the Father’s self-revelation that is the Son, the Son’s reception and acceptance of the Father’s self-giving, and the Spirit’s mutuality that unites the two Persons. In our exploration of the relationship of communion between man and woman, we find between them the same self-revealing and acceptance that exists within God. The challenge to open oneself to another human being becomes the training ground for opening oneself to God. Just as man and woman are alike in their humanity, so too human beings are created in the likeness of God. The similarity that makes mutual self-giving possible exists both horizontally between man and woman, and vertically between human beings and God. At the same time, the challenge of relating to someone who is different also exists horizontally between man and woman, and vertically between human beings and God. In learning to relate to someone of the other sex, we grow in our understanding of how to relate to God in whose image we are created and who is yet immeasurably different from us. It is no coincidence that the mystics describe the highest state of spiritual union with God as a marriage. As sons in the Son, we are all called to be united as brides to the Bridegroom. The Song of Songs is the song of every believer in his encounter with God.

Marriage, of course, is the most complete form of intimacy, but in some way, every interaction with another human being is meant to be intimate, is meant to be open and truthful and unveiled, without any falsehoods. There is no need to share everything with everyone else, but what we do share of ourself must be true and sincere. This demands a self-knowledge that can be very painful, for I need to remove from myself every interior defense that hides me from the other. This is not possible unless I first remove the defenses, the false images, that I use to hide myself from God. I can only do this if I trust that God will not take advantage of my openness. I cannot be vulnerable to God and still less to another human being until I realize how totally God has made Himself vulnerable to me.

We have seen that man is called to be the minister of confirmation, that he confirms each creature in its God-given reality. How does man confirm woman in her vocation as minister of communion? Man does this by entering into communion with her and he does this by opening himself to her. It may be as simple as the realization that she is a person with the full dignity of a child of God. This is already very challenging, for it admits that woman has her own personal relationship with God that does not pass through any other human being. St. Joseph recognized this in Mary. Man’s act of confirming woman’s vocation to communion may go deeper when the relationship between them allows it, and he then shares with her some of his own hopes or weaknesses. Whatever expression it takes, he is called to strengthen woman in her own vocation. He is called to strengthen her in her ability to be openness and challenge to others and especially in her openness to God.

This brings us to the question that continually arises of what woman should or should not do. What activities, what type of work, are suitable for her, and which ones are not? I think this is again falling into the mistaken question of focusing on “doing” rather than on “being.” I think we need to first ask, “what human activities, what interactions with another human being,  are not meant to be an act of communion?” If every thought, word, and deed we perform should be an act of love, and if love is the gift of oneself that makes the other more perfectly themselves, then is there any activity, any interaction, that is not meant to be communion? In the framework of this approach, is there any activity that is not suitable for a woman? In individual circumstances, a certain activity may not be suitable for a certain woman. As a cloistered contemplative nun, working outside the monastery is out of the question for me. That is because the framework of one vocation excludes the activities necessary for a different vocation. Because it contradicts my personal vocation, outside work is not possible, but that does not mean that outside work is not suitable for women who are not cloistered nuns. We need to keep the primary vocation of woman as the minister of communion in view when considering particular situations. How to do this goes beyond the scope of this article.

There is one final matter that we must consider. The relationality of man and woman to one another and to God is exercised both horizontally and vertically, both between human beings among themselves, and between each individual and God. We have seen that this relationality images the relationship of the Trinity among the three Persons. The only distinction between the Father, the Son and the Spirit is the source of their existence. The Father is unbegotten, the Son is begotten and the Spirit is spirated. In all else, they form one being.

However, in their relationship to their creatures, specific activities are ascribed to different Persons: creation is ascribed to the Father, redemption to the Son, and sanctification to the Spirit. We find something similar in the Church: all baptized Christians are one in the Son of God, yet certain activities are ascribed to various members, and in this we find the same difference that exists between man and woman. Priests are called to minister to the believers. They do not create grace, that comes from God. “There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.  But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”[iv] When we consider the vocation of the priesthood, we see the call of man to confirm all creatures in their own reality according to God’s plan. When we consider the vocation of the laity, we see the vocation of woman to open the reality of communion to others and to all creation. Just as the roles of Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier are ascribed to specific Persons in the Godhead, even though all Three Persons perform every action outside of themselves, so too specific actions in the Church are ascribed to specific persons. It is not a question of any cultural concepts that restricts the ordained priesthood to men; it is a manifestation of the inherent vocations of man and woman, and as such, it stands out as an icon of the relationship of each person to God. Both confirmation and communion are needed to live the life of the Trinity, and because the Church is a sign and a sacrament of this living union, both confirmation and communion must be clearly expressed in the Church. Priests do not create the believers’ relationship with God; that is done by Christ through the sacraments, but priests are called to confirm that relationship. The laity is called to manifest the existence of the Kingdom of God already present here on earth by the communion between the members, and that communion must be clearly expressed by the laity, who are an icon of woman as the minister of communion.

Someone will certainly insist that I am contradicting myself in saying that all activities that are expressions of communion are suitable for women, and then in saying that the ordained priesthood is reserved for men. They are confusing the horizontal relationship and the vertical. In discussing what activities are suitable for women, we are discussing activities in this world, what type of work or forms of interaction possible while we live here on earth. That pertains to the horizontal relationship. The life of grace, while it informs all that we do, pertains to our vertical relationship with God. The relationship between priesthood and laity exists as an icon of our relationship with God, and any blurring of the two roles only blurs our understanding of our relationship with God.

Such an understanding of the relationship between man and woman on one plane, and of the priesthood and the laity on another plane, only makes sense if we believe that both are an icon and a sacrament of our relationship with God. To those who see reality in any other framework, all this is meaningless, but to those who accept it, it is “the power of God and the wisdom of God.”[v]

Notes

[i] “Ascent of Mt. Carmel,” II, 24,4

[ii] Rom. 5, 5

[iii] 1 Pet. 1, 12

[iv] Eph. 4, 4-7

[v] Rom. 1, 24

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Image: “Window XVI: Virgin Mary and Apostles at” (CC BY-NC 2.0) by hayespdx