Note: This reflection on single life was previously published by the Union of Catholic Asian News on March 25, 2025.  

If you are Catholic, you might recognize that the three Church designated vocational callings are religious life, marriage, and singlehood. However, within the Catholic community, the single life has frequently failed to be viewed as a vocation because it does not require vows. Consequently, it is often overlooked and its contributions to society are sporadically denigrated. The default vocations of marriage, religious life, or consecrated life are more prominent and, because of this, being single is not always fun.

Misconceptions About the Single Vocation

The general perception within Catholic discourse mimics the thinking of our postmodern age which suggests that single life is for partying, a “way-station” until or between marriage, or a dumping-ground designation for those who are unable to attract a partner. Additionally, there is also a common perception that the vocation of single life is limited to the “never been married,” which overlooks the widowed, single parents, separated, annulled, and divorced.

Despite their privileged perception, many enter married or religious life in haste – sometimes for the wrong reasons – without adequate discernment or preparation. This can lead to unfulfilled vocations. According to the Pew research Center, among Catholics who have ever been married, roughly one-third (34%) have experienced a divorce. In 2022, this high divorce rate led the Vatican to release suggestions for lengthier and revamped marriage preparations.  At that time, Pope Francis emphasized that “superficial” marriage preparation programs leave many couples at risk of having invalid marriages or being unprepared to cope with the struggles that arise in every marriage.

Despite the protracted formative years that are required for religious vocations, they exhibit a similar pattern to the vocation of marriage. In 2014 there were nearly 1.2 million religious brothers, sisters, and priests in the world. In 2020, 5,383 of these left their priestly vocations and a good number of religious requested dispensation. Some of the reasons for this included inadequate pastoral formation, crises of faith, depression or psychological issues, conflicts with superiors, difficulty accepting aspects of the Magisterium, and choosing the wrong vocation for the wrong reasons.

I am not using these statistics to advocate for single life, as the same challenges exist across all vocations. I acknowledge that each vocation – whether marriage, priesthood, or single life – has its own sets of benefits and difficulties. Religious life is essential to the Church; marriage and family life play a key role in the growth of the domestic church. However single life should not be dismissed, as it is also a legitimate vocation that is used by God to bless His people. 

The Reality of Vocational Challenges

Just as marriage and religious life require discernment and commitment, single life is not merely an accident of circumstances. Some individuals actively choose to remain single for reasons such as:

• Care for aging or sick family members
• Discernment of religious life or marriage
• Personal health challenges
• Loss of a spouse
• A deep sense of mission in professional or spiritual life
• Divorce or annulment.
• Religious dispensation

Far from being a secondary or lesser calling, the single vocation allows these individuals to devote themselves more fully to their communities, ministries, and personal spiritual growth.

The Church’s View on Single Life

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1658) states that single individuals are an integral part of the Church:

The doors of homes, the ‘domestic churches,’ and of the great family which is the Church must be open to all of them.

The Church, through her Magisterium, teaches the following on the single life:

1. For those not called to marriage or consecrated life, the single life can be a way to live out the universal vocation received in baptism, offering a particular witness through personal growth.
2. Some single people may not feel especially “called” to the single state but find themselves unmarried for various reasons, such as not finding the right person to marry. In these cases, God still calls them to live and love in their present circumstances.
3. The Church recognizes diverse “vocations” or paths within the lay state, including various secular institutes that allow lay people to profess the evangelical counsels – poverty, chastity, and obedience – while maintaining their lay state.
4. Many unmarried people make great contributions through service to their communities, churches, and professional lives. Unfortunately, their presence and contributions are sometimes overlooked, leading to a sense of isolation.

How the Church Can Support Single Catholics

While the Church acknowledges the value of single life, there is still room for growth in recognizing and supporting those who embrace this vocation.

Here are four key areas where the Church can better serve single Catholics:

1. Provide Pastoral Care and Support

The Church must ensure that single Catholics, especially those who are widowed or divorced, feel included and supported in the faith community. Divorced Catholics who remain faithful to their marriage vows should be encouraged to find spiritual nourishment in the Eucharist.

2. Recognize the Witness of Single Catholics

Single Catholics contribute significantly to the Church through service, teaching, charity, and evangelization. Their witness of faithfulness and dedication should be acknowledged and celebrated.

3. Provide Formation and Preparation

Just as the Church offers marriage preparation and religious formation, it should also provide guidance for those discerning the single vocation. This could include mentorship programs, retreats, and theological studies focused on the lay vocation.

4. Encourage Community and Friendship

The Church should foster a sense of belonging for single Catholics by offering social and ministry opportunities that help them build meaningful relationships and find spiritual support.

God Writes Our Path, Holiness Defines It

In many Catholic circles, finding a “vocation” is treated as the ultimate goal—as if holiness depends on solving the puzzle of choosing between religious life, marriage, or single life. However, one’s vocation is chosen by God and not by us. Ultimately the primary and most fundamental vocation is the call to holiness. Only by living this universal call of the Church can we truly fulfill whatever path God has placed before us, whether that is religious life, marriage, or single life.

Let us pray that men and women will embrace the supernatural calls to priesthood and religious life; that virtue and chastity guide couples toward healthy, holy marriages; and that all of us – regardless of our state in life – say “yes” each day to the universal call to holiness, wherever God leads.

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Image: “Morning Prayers” (CC BY-ND 2.0) by dtcchc