I remember an article I came across more than two decades ago written by a man, Dennis, about Father Mike, a popular local priest with whom he shared a decade-long friendship. Father Mike had died suddenly some months before, and Dennis was beginning to hear rumors circulating about the priest that disturbed him greatly.

In this article, Dennis sought to set the record straight about his friend, whose life story he described as having been “hijacked” and was being used “to attack the Catholic Church.” Dennis defended Father Mike’s legacy, saying that his friend was “a wonderful Catholic Priest. Father Mike saw Christ in everyone. Father Mike ministered to everyone with a smile, a prayer and the love of Jesus Christ in his heart. Father Mike was tireless in living a life as a Priest modeled after St. Francis of Assisi.”

Most of all, Dennis wanted the world to know “that Father Mike was being used by homosexual activists.” He wrote, “I began to contact many people who knew Father Mike for as long as I knew him or longer. I wanted the truth about Father Mike to be published. Not one of these longtime friends ever heard or saw anything that Father Mike did to indicate he was homosexual. I personally spent weeks at a time with Father Mike where he and I spoke about many personal matters. Not once was there even a suggestion that Father Mike was ‘gay’. Father Mike was a celibate Catholic Priest and nothing more.”

In his article, Dennis Lynch lamented “events claiming Father Mike to be ‘Hero, Priest and Gay.’” He expressed frustration that “The media began referring to Father Mike now as being not just ‘gay’, but an ‘openly gay’ Priest.” He insisted, “None of this was true.”

But it was true.

If you haven’t guessed already, the “Father Mike” referred to in the article is Father Mychal Judge, OFM, a New York City Fire Department chaplain and the first recorded casualty of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the twin towers. Although there is no indication that he ever broke his vow of chastity, it is clear that he was homosexual and that he didn’t hide this from everyone.

It soon became widely known that Father Mike had come out to many close friends and confidants and that he had been involved with some pro-LGBT Catholic groups like Dignity. That he was gay is also clear from his personal writing. For example, he once wrote, “I thought of my gay self and how the people I meet never get to know me fully.”

Some time later, one blogger noted, “It’s significant that in the face of all this evidence, Dennis Lynch never pressed his claim after 2002. Nor have Mychal’s Franciscan order or family ever denied that Mychal self-identified as a gay man,” adding, “It’s understandable why Judge didn’t come out to those, like Lynch, with deep visceral reactions and prejudices. Mychal picked and chose when and to whom to come out.”

Nevertheless, Father Mike befriended Dennis Lynch, even though Lynch never got to know him fully.

A papal slur

I thought about Mychal Judge when I witnessed the reaction of many Catholics to the reports that Pope Francis used a homophobic slur during a closed-door meeting with the Italian bishops on May 20.

I’ve refrained from commenting in depth on the reports as the details continue to come together. The quote was leaked to the Italian media, presumably by a bishop who sought to make Pope Francis look bad. Many have suggested that the equivalent term in Argentine Spanish is not offensive in the way it is in Italian or English. Additionally, America’s Vatican correspondent Gerard O’Connell quoted an Italian bishop who claims that the pope’s words were taken out of context. O’Connell also wrote an earlier article citing multiple anonymous sources claiming “that Francis repeated the word that had been used by one or more bishops during the 90-minute question-and-answer session with the Italian bishops.”

As would be expected, many progressive and moderate Catholics were offended by the pope’s apparent use of the term, with varying levels of frustration. And naturally, some conservative critics of the pope predictably capitalized on the slur to further divide the Church.

Obviously, I don’t think Pope Francis should have used an offensive term (intentionally or not), but more disturbing to me during this episode has been the almost gleeful mockery and disdain displayed by many Catholics toward LGBT people.

The responses of traditionalist and far-right Catholics — describing Pope Francis as “based” and proclaiming that this incident gave them a renewed respect for him — are disturbing. Since at first no context was provided, these commentators were openly celebrating the idea that the pope used a slur against gay people and indicated that he didn’t want them admitted to seminaries under any circumstances.

The controversy has led people to express their opinions about gay priests on social media. And some of them were quite extreme and callous. Many Catholics opined that a purge of gay priests was necessary, arguing that homosexuals must be rooted out of the priesthood for the sake of the Church.

Many were infuriated by Fr. James Martin’s tweet on the topic, in which he wrote:

In my 25 years as a priest and almost 40 as a Jesuit, I’ve known hundreds of holy, faithful and celibate gay priests. They’ve been my superiors, my teachers, my confessors, my mentors, my spiritual directors and my friends. And if you’re Catholic, they’ve celebrated Masses for you, baptized your children, heard your confessions, visited you in hospitals, presided at your weddings and buried your parents. The church would be immeasurably poorer without them.

In my 25 years as a priest and almost 40 as a Jesuit, I’ve known hundreds of holy, faithful and celibate gay priests. They’ve been my superiors, my teachers, my confessors, my mentors, my spiritual directors and my friends. And if you’re Catholic, they’ve celebrated Masses for…

— James Martin, SJ (@JamesMartinSJ) May 29, 2024

Fr. Martin wisely turned off replies (apparently he’s been on retreat), but many people attacked him for his comments and repeated their calls for expunging all gay priests and seminarians from ministry.

Gay vs SSA

Before going any further, it is important that language is clarified.

Some conservative Catholics like to draw a distinction between the common terms “gay” or “LGBT” and alternative phrases like “same-sex attraction” or “SSA.” For many people of faith, the word “gay” denotes a sexually-active homosexual identity, lifestyle, and culture. Terms like SSA are preferred because they suggest that one should not be defined by such a culture. It is associated with support group programs such as Courage or practices like reparative therapy.

In common parlance, however, “gay” has become the standard term for a male homosexual (one who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to other men), regardless of sexual activity. Often, gay Christians (and former Christians) reject terms like SSA as offensive or patronizing, especially if they have had negative experiences with the programs and practices associated with the terms. When someone uses the term “same sex attraction,” it immediately sets off red flags.

Even so, some Catholics refuse to use the common terminology. Whenever someone mentions “gay priests,” they insist on associating it with a sexually active lifestyle, not orientation.

In this article, I use the words gay and LGBT under their common definitions — to describe orientation.

The reality of gay priests

As I mentioned before, I’ve seen countless comments on this topic that have been thoughtless, ignorant, and cruel. Among conservative and traditionalist Catholics, there seems to be a whole lot of confusion about the reasons why so many gay men become priests.

I don’t think there’s any question that the percentage of priests who are gay is significantly higher than the 1.5 to 4% of the general population who identify as gay. If you type the question into Google, you will come across a very wide range of estimates that suggest anywhere from 10 to 60% of priests are gay. Sometimes they narrow it down to 25 to 50% or 30 to 40%.

Most of these estimates come from professionals who work with priests on these issues. Donald B. Cozzens suggested in his 2000 book The Changing Face of The Priesthood that the percentage of gay priests is as high as 58%. Psychotherapist Richard Sipe’s estimate was a bit lower, at around 30%.

The only significant surveys (that I know of) in which priests self-reported their sexual orientation are a 2002 Los Angeles Times survey (where 9% said they were gay, 6% said they were “on the homosexual side,” another 5% “in the middle”), and the 2021 Survey of American Catholic Priests, which says in its summary that “About four out of five Catholic priests in the U.S. today identify as heterosexual or mostly heterosexual.” The full dataset for the survey has not been released, but the summary notes that the numbers are consistent with the 2002 survey.

One imagines that if 20 percent of priests were willing to answer a survey question and say that they are gay or bisexual, it’s likely that significantly more priests were unwilling to admit it. As the LA Times article notes, “The poll respondents were guaranteed anonymity, but results on the sexuality questions could have been influenced by wariness of the media and fears among gay priests that disclosing their sexual orientation amid the current crisis would be ill-advised.”

After all, if someone is committed to celibacy and Church teaching, what purpose would it serve to tell anyone, even privately, that they are gay?

It seems that those calling for a purge of gay priests misunderstand the reality of the situation. Some Catholics seem to think the high number of gay priests is the result of deliberate “infiltration” of seminaries to corrupt the Church. Some blame it on Vatican II. An article in Crisis Magazine last year suggested “that many homosexual men are drawn to the priesthood because with the Novus Ordo Mass it offers a safe, frequent, and immediate gratification” — something that the author apparently believes the Tridentine Mass doesn’t do.

The truth is that these days, the vast majority of gay priests and seminarians are likely young men who either grew up in devout Catholic families or those who have experienced profound conversions. For a young, devout Catholic man who wants to obey Church teaching on sexuality but is gay, the Church offers a very limited set of life options. Love of God and the Church is typically what draws them to the priesthood, and what opens them up to hear the call. They want to serve the Church, follow Church teaching, and live lives of holiness.

Quite often, such priests lack any sexual experience whatsoever. Some gay priests, such as Father Fred Daly, are unaware of their orientation until well into priesthood. Once again, we’re talking about orientation — not activities or experiences.

It’s likely that many priests who are either gay or conflicted about their sexuality take their secret to their graves — perhaps only having told their spiritual director or confessor about their attractions. Others may come out to some friends and confidants but know intuitively that telling certain people would be imprudent.

I don’t think it’s for us to judge. (Who are we to judge?) And if you are going to judge, the least you can do is understand that this is not a grand conspiracy. This is simply the behind-the-scenes reality, at least it seems to be. And it probably has been for centuries.

Called and faithful

The Vatican’s 2005 guidelines for admitting seminarians acknowledge this implicitly. They don’t impose an absolute ban on every candidate with a homosexual orientation. They say “that the Church, while profoundly respecting the persons in question, cannot admit to the seminary or to holy orders those who practice homosexuality, present deep-seated homosexual tendencies or support the so-called ‘gay culture.’” In other words, the disqualifying factors are matters of morality, psychology, and activity. Each candidate’s capacity to uphold their commitment to living chastely must be evaluated.

Certainly, some priests slip and fall. Sometimes dangerous or unhealthy undercurrents persist in seminaries and dioceses. Sometimes bad people get through. Obviously, clerical subcultures rooted in sex or vice need to be taken seriously and addressed promptly. Those who are deemed unable to live out their obligations or to live out their priesthood fully should not be ordained to the priesthood.

Pope Francis has warned that the priests who cause the most harm to the Church are those who live double lives. At times, the most ardently anti-gay priests are closeted homosexuals themselves. One example of this is Tony Anatrella, a French priest who was a respected psychoanalyst and a consultant to the Vatican. He was widely known as an “expert” on homosexuality in the priesthood. It was discovered a few years ago that he was not only gay, but a predator. But he is the exception.

If you are a longtime Catholic, Father Martin is 100% correct when he writes that gay priests have “celebrated Masses for you, baptized your children, heard your confessions, visited you in hospitals, presided at your weddings and buried your parents.” The numbers bear this out.

Chances are, a gay priest has changed your life for the better … and you’ll never know he was gay.

Chances are, he’s trying to live out his vocation faithfully, including his call to chastity, with more successes than failures.

Chances are, he picks up his cross every day, sets his eyes on Christ, and proclaims the good news. And when he stumbles, he picks up the cross again and starts over.

The recent outburst of belligerent homophobia grieves me deeply. We must be empathetic, compassionate, and merciful.